Ah yes, the adult Lunchable! The quintessential addition to any wine tasting, romantic evening, Netflix binge - or all three! Cole and I will make this for dinner some Saturday nights and graze as we watch a movie and down a bottle or two of wine. I feel like every self-respecting food blogger has written a post highlighting their own personal tips and tricks to creating these crowd-pleasing masterpieces, so alas, here is my contribution...
Step 1: Matching the Occasion
OK, let's start with these questions -
How many people is your charcuterie board feeding? Think minimum of 2 types of meat and 2 types of cheese for 1-3 people, 3 meats/3 cheeses for 4-8 people, and at least 4 meats/4 cheeses for 8+.
Are these people adventurous eaters?
Are drinks being paired with the board? What kind? You can pair meats and cheeses with planned drinks to enhance flavors all around!
Does anyone have food allergies? Remember, most of these foods will be touching.
How long will this board be expected to sit out? Some fruit may turn brown and some dips and cheeses will get funky if they sit out more than an hour or two - faster if it's warm where the charcuterie board is being served!
The answers to these questions will factor into the decisions you make as you're creating your board and your budget!
Step 2: The Vessel
No charcuterie board is as good as its, well, board. This is your first creative decision! If you're feeding a large crowd, let's say 12-20 people, and the charcuterie board is the main food item, you're gonna need some space! One of the new wedding trends in 2021 is to create a charcuterie board that spans a literal table to serve as the snacks for the cocktail hour. Obviously, the table needs to be cleaned super well with food grade cleaner or lined with butcher or parchment paper (totes recommend this, as it makes for super easy clean up). If you're not to that level and only entertaining a few friends, you'll typically just need a decent sized wooden cutting board or even a glass or marble platter! Amazon has tons of options if you don't have anything at home that can suffice.
My go to is either my Pioneer Woman cutting board or one of my bamboo cutting boards. Either is plenty big to serve 4-6 people. I've also been eyeing this little marble/wood number lately and I may make that purchase when I get back from my deployment for Cole and I to enjoy (not to mention, how cute would a pie look on this guy)! There are also some trays that have a little compartment for cheese knifes and ridges that hold crackers which I think is adorable and is one of my favorite things to send as a house warming gift! Finally, if you don't have a lot of space to work with, you can always go vertical! A tiered platter would be a smart addition to card nights, smaller areas, or tables that are already laden with other treats.
Step 3: The Carbs
Having bread or crackers that can hold their own against hearty meats, fancy cheeses, and anything else you add to your charcuterie board is crucial! Sometimes you just have to go with the OG Ritz/Trisket/Wheat Thins combo - hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it! But soda crackers and even toasted slices of sourdough or french bread would amp the experience up too! My best friend got me hooked on these chickpea veggie chips and oh mylanta a bag of these will barely last a day in my house! They're salty and crispy, but pass the dip test. 10/10 highly recommend.
Step 4: The Meats
Pigs are amazing creatures. They give us prosciutto and chorizo and most importantly, bacon. Cured meats bring heartiness to charcuterie boards so great care should be brought into picking the offerings for yours. Try to pick things that have different flavors and textures. Some smoky chorizo, mellow summer sausage, and a little spicy sopressata allows for multiple different pallets to find something they'll like! I'm also a big fan of spreadable meats like pâté mixed with golden raisins or a jar of homemade bacon jam.
Step 5: The Cheese
Some say there are two types of people in this world - salsa snobs or guac lovers. Nope, I'm a queso girl, and thank the Lord I'm not lactose intolerant or there would be bigger problems than having two pound blocks of cheese taking over our refrigerator. Like the meats, you'll want to choose a variety of tastes and textures for your cheeses. You can start with picking a cheese from each of these categories:
Soft
Brie
Burrata
Fresh Mozzarella
Goat Cheese
Firm
Swiss
Parmesan
Manchego
Smoked
Gouda
Cheddar
Blue
Gorgonzola
Stilton
Step 6: The Supporting Cast
Salt, fat, acid, heat - the four horsemen of your taste buds. As with any good dish, you'll want to include all those flavors in your charcuterie board! With the meats and cheeses you've picked out, you'll have the fat component covered. For the salt, I like to add really briny olives or pretzels to go along with the crackers. Add some banana pepper slices or wasabi peas/nuts to get that heat. Fresh fruit like apple slices, berries, grapes or even some cherry tomatoes can provide the acid that would hit the higher taste notes that your mouth may crave after eating the darker, heavy flavors coming from the meats. But can we please talk about the culinary gift that is whole grain mustard?? Those lovely little bitter orbs of love are the caviar of the plant world and a jar or dollop of that always makes an appearance at my get togethers!
To take it to that next level, I also like to add a little sweetness - why not, right? Honey is my go to for the sweet side of the house. A little honey on some prosciutto wrapped brie?? Mmmmmmm...
If I'm feeding a lot of people, I like to add something warm to my board to give it a little something special. Buffalo chicken dip, baked brie, or mini wienies that've been marinating in bourbon, a little BBQ sauce, and a scoop of apricot jam in the crock pot a couple hours (this will be a recipe I share soon) are some winners from my experience!
Step 7: AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!
Now for the easy part! There is no right or wrong way to assemble a charcuterie board, but here are some of my tips:
Don't cut all the cheese (so to speak) - invest in a nice set of cheese knives so guests can cut what they want. Then, when the party's over, you're not left with small pieces of stale or dried up cheese. You can throw the large hunk in a Ziploc bag and put it back in the fridge.
Add height - I like to put fruit and olives in smaller jars or even stemless wine glasses to add a little more dimension to the board. This also helps keep "wet" things like pickles, banana peppers, dips, and spreads from getting all over the board and impacting the tastes of other things.
Empty out the pantry for fillers - Maybe the board you chose to use is a little too big and you don't have enough stuff to fill it with. This is when I see what I have in the back of my pantry! Nuts, sunflower seeds, granola, raisins, etc. can fill in the gaps and make your charcuterie board look more substantial.
Now go perfect your craft and impress everyone with your charcuterie skills! Or eat it all yourself... I'm not one to judge...
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